(Remember, this is humor, not to be taken seriously.)

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

! ;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
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We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.